Has online dating ever felt like a never-ending stream of job interviews? You ask the same questions, get the same answers, and never really get that far in getting to know someone or validating if they’re worth your time for a date.

Good news—you’re not alone. But even better news is that we’re here to help. In this guide, we’re going to outline the best questions to ask when online dating. We’ll talk about questions to ask a new match (before you meet), questions to ask on a first date, and even get into some questions you should be asking of yourself before you take the leap into the realm of online dating. Also, we’ve added a section on questions that you shouldn’t ask, which can be just as important.

We’d ask if you’re ready to get started, but there are already enough amazing questions in this guide that we’ll spare you one more!

Questions to Ask a New Match

Talking to someone new online is exciting. You never know when you’re going to be talking to that special someone that you might spend a lot of time or even the rest of your life with. But how do you best get to know them? How do you make sure they’re worth your time for a first date? How do you make sure you’re setting yourself up for success?

Well, the answer to these questions is more questions. Here’s a lengthy collection of some of the best questions to ask a new match when dating online. Keep in mind that you don’t have to ask all of these, but just pick and choose the ones that are the most important to you. Also, feel free to reword them if you need to in order to better fit you.

• What are you passionate about in life?

• What short and long term goals do you have for your personal and professional life?

• Would you consider your values more traditional or progressive?

• What scares you/what’s your biggest fear in life?

• Are you religious? If so, how big of a role does it play in your life? (Yes, it’s okay to ask about this. Avoiding these topics because of antiquated guidance is just a waste of your time.)

• How do you like to spend your weekends and your free time?

• Ask questions about things on their profile that are interesting to you. (This also shows that you read their profile, which usually means big brownie points.) Example: I saw on your profile you said you love dogs. Do you have any pets?

• Are you a spontaneous person or a planner?

• Do you tend to focus more on the big picture or the little details?

• What do you do for a living/what kind of work do you do? (Notice we didn’t say “Where do you work?” That can be a little too personal when you’re first getting to know someone. There’s nothing wrong with asking what they do for a living, though. They are two distinctly different questions.)

• What’s your schedule normally like? (This is a great question to ask when you’re transitioning into looking to set up a potential first date. It’s also nice to know for general information.)

• Do you prefer going out or staying in more?

• What kind of sense of humor would you say you have?