A lot of people jump headfirst into online dating without taking the time to get all their ducks in a row. And while we’re advocates for taking the plunge, there are some questions you can ask yourself before you get started to make sure you’re setting yourself up for success.
Here are several fantastic questions to ask yourself before you start dating online.
- Am I emotionally happy enough with myself to be vulnerable in a dating environment? Am I using dating to try and fill a hole in my life? Do I want a relationship or need one? (If it’s the latter, you should probably pump the brakes and work on you first. Relationships are supposed to be complimentary to your life and happiness. If it’s a want instead of a need, you’re good to go. If it’s the other way around, work on you first.
- What are my goals with online dating?
- Am I looking for something casual, serious, or in-between?
- What are my absolute deal breakers?
- Do I have a plan in place to safely date online? Read: Our Online Dating Safety Guide
- What am I comfortable doing?
- Where do I stand with physical intimacy?
- Would I let someone pick me up on the first date?
- Am I comfortable giving out my phone number before the first date? (You can always chat on the app.)
- What am I looking for? (This may sound super basic, but the more exact and detailed you can get in your answer—the better. Know what your wants are and what your needs are. Be careful not to fall into the trap of creating a dating checklist that might make things harder for you.
The more of these questions you can have figured out before you get started with online dating, the better position you’re going to be in. It’s like the old country song says—”You’ve got to stand for something or you’ll fall for anything.”
The Bottom Line – Avoid the Interview
People get nervous on first dates. It’s inevitable, and it’s okay! The temptation in those situations can be to worry more about what you’re going to say and not actually listening.
When you ask these questions, listen to their answers. It’s great if you’re able to find follow up questions or even situations where you have things in common. Try and find the happy balance of talking and listening, and when you’re listening—actually listen and process what they’re saying. The worst thing you can do is just read through these questions one by one. That’s how you end up getting that unnatural job interview feel.
